And they’re off
October 13th, 2006 at 12:00 pm by mike
Turtle racing at a pub in LA. Seriously.
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Turtle racing at a pub in LA. Seriously.
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October 13th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Last night we attended the turtle races. It wasn’t as cool as you’d think, mostly because of the semi-obnoxious mc/host and the restly because of the crazy drunk bimbos. But it was still pretty fun. They bring out a cooler of turtles, you give the turtle guy $5 and then get to pick out your turtle. I went for a small and speedy looking one. Some turtles didn’t have names and the people ahead of me got to name them, but when I pointed to mine the turtle guy said that he was named “golden schlong”. Unfortunate, but that was also the name of the turtle Jason had raced with many years ago when he was out visiting Mike. Feeling good about my chances, we waited for the race to start.
Once they were ready each person was called up and told to place their turtle in the ring. As I went to get mine the turtle guy told me “be careful, he bites and he scratches.” Great. I gingerly placed him in the ring and went back to my seat. You’re not allowed to point apparently, and it took all of my energy to avoid pointing. (If they catch you they fine you $10 for the first offense, then $20 and $50, after which you’re tossed out. I don’t know why.) They counted down and released the turtles from the center. Like he was born to run, my little turtle booked it to the outer circle, racing like the wind. He won by quite a bit, and for choosing him I won a blue turtle racing ribbon and a pair of dollar store teenage mutant ninja turtle sunglasses. All in all, it was actually really entertaining. Makes me almost want a turtle. Almost.
October 14th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
that’s totally awesome. and wicked funny that you aren’t allowed to point.